Have you ever felt the urge to break something? To just throw things around and smash them into tiny bits? Perhaps you’ve seen the iconic scene from the movie Office Space where the trio of disgruntled office workers vent years of frustration on a printer and thought to yourself, “My life would be so much better if I could do that just one time.”
The urge is understandable (and healthier than venting your rage on a person), but is taking out your anger on an inanimate object really the healthiest way to deal with it? As someone who’s spent more than a few evenings beating on a punching bag after a particularly frustrating day, I can say with certainty that it often feels that way. However, as therapist Chris Legg explains, such actions don’t make you less angry, they just make you too tired to express that anger.
Essentially, another emotion takes the place of anger, but the rage is still there. Apparently, we need a better solution.
So what does Scripture say on the subject? What guidance can we find from God’s Word for addressing our anger in a more productive and lasting way?
The answer starts by having a better understanding of what the Bible means when it talks about anger.
When is anger a sin?
While Scripture speaks to the dangers of anger throughout both the Old and New Testaments, its clearest teaching is in the Sermon on the Mount, where Jesus addresses anger as the first in a series of “You have heard it said . . . But I say to you” statements:
“You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.’ But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire” (Matthew 5:21–22).
In these verses, Jesus moves away from an emphasis on one’s actions—the traditional approach to combatting sin in his culture—to focus instead on the motivation behind those actions. Yet, as he established only a few verses before (Matthew 5:17–20), this seemingly unique approach is not in any way counter to a true understanding of the Law and the Prophets.
Christ’s teaching on anger was not new, even if it seems novel, and remembering that fact is crucial to gaining an accurate understanding of what the Lord expects of his disciples.
The standards Jesus describes have always been God’s standards for his people. We just haven’t always accepted the challenge of living up to them. And that is especially true when it comes to anger. At least part of the reason why, however, is that we don’t always have a good understanding of the kind of anger against which Jesus warns.
You see, an important distinction is lost when we read these verses in English that would have been far more apparent to Christ’s original audience. There are two words in the Greek that are often translated as anger. The first, thumos, most commonly refers to the spontaneous emotion. This kind of anger is what we feel when someone wrongs us or when circumstances don’t go our way, and it is not what Jesus calls a sin in this passage. After all, even Jesus experienced the emotion of anger—such as when he drove out the money changers (Matthew 21:12–13)—yet was without sin.
That Christ does not condemn the emotion of anger reveals an important principle for how we should understand the concept: the Bible does not tell us how to feel, only how to respond to those feelings.
Later on in Matthew 5, for example, Jesus commands us to love our enemies. He can command us to love because love is not an emotion; it’s a choice. As a result, we have some measure of control over whether or not we will love another person.
In the same way, Christ can warn against anger in these verses because he is not talking about the initial emotion, but rather what we choose to do with it.
In verse 22, he uses the word orgizomenos to describe this anger, which is perhaps better translated as something akin to holding a grudge. It’s an anger that is cherished in the heart, nursed, and kept alive by our own volition. This kind of anger is a choice and, as such, a sin that is within our power to avoid.
If our focus, however, remains fixed on the outward displays of anger that are more commonly associated with the emotion, then it can be easier to overlook the sinful anger that Jesus describes here. To that end, he moves away from murder to describe instead the consequences of verbal outbursts.
That’s not to say murder, or any other physical manifestation of anger, is not a sin. The sixth commandment makes clear that it is (Exodus 20:13). But Christ wants his disciples to understand that we can—and do—sin long before reaching that point.
To that end, he gives two examples of ways that people can react in sinful anger without ever actually injuring the other person (at least not physically).
Understanding the source of our anger
The first is often translated as “insults,” and is the Aramaic word raca. In the literal sense, it means to be empty-headed or stupid. The way Jesus uses it here, though, he’s not talking about saying that someone made a dumb choice. Rather, it’s saying that the person is stupid. It’s a statement about their character and worth as an individual. And the second is just like it.
More, often translated as fool, was in many ways the worst, most slanderous insult you could use against a person in ancient Israel. It comes from the Greek word for “moron,” and meant a person who is so morally deficient and corrupt as to be of little to no value whatsoever.
Now, you and I probably don’t have to think very long to remember a time in which we’ve used similar insults to describe someone. And, to be sure, verbal insults typically have fewer practical consequences than walking up to someone and hitting them—though, depending on the context, that sort of escalation is not out of the question.
We must remember, though, that what we say often offers the clearest insights into the state of our hearts.
As Jesus warns the Pharisees later on in Matthew’s gospel, “out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks” (Matthew 12:34). James echoes those sentiments when he cautions that “if anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless” (James 1:26). Later on in that same letter, James adds that “the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness . . . staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell” (James 3:6).
It can be tempting, at times, to let our mouths run when we’re angry and say things out of frustration that we would not say otherwise. But we must never underestimate the damage that a careless word can do.
Most of us understand that basic truth, though. We know that it’s wrong to insult others and speak of them in a way that tears them down rather than builds them up. Yet, all of us do it from time to time, and the moments in which those words are motivated by anger are often the most damaging. That’s why Jesus is so emphatic that we must address the anger we allow to linger in our hearts before it makes its way out into the open.
Still, does that mean every time we speak or act in anger is sin? After all, Scripture gives multiple examples of God acting in anger, and surely that wasn’t sin. It would appear that there are differences inherent to God’s anger versus our own, and understanding why that’s the case is crucial to preventing the kind of sin Jesus describes in Matthew 5.
God’s anger versus our anger
One reason anger can be so difficult to deal with is that we can frequently argue our way into justifying why it was an appropriate reaction for a given situation. For example, if someone hurts or threatens us, the answer is not to simply act as though it never happened. Some response is often necessary.
When we compare our anger with that of the Lord, however, it becomes easier to distinguish between its righteous and sinful manifestations. The third and fourth chapters of Genesis offer a helpful example of this distinction.
In chapter 3, we see God’s response to Adam and Eve’s sins. He addresses directly what they’ve done wrong and disciplines them in a way that reinforces the gravity of their mistake, but in both respects, he does so from a place of holy opposition to sin rather than a desire to see them suffer.
Contrast those elements with Cain’s response to his anger at Abel’s offering being accepted by God while his was not. Cain’s murder of his brother was motivated by insecurity, jealousy, and anger. Even if Abel had carried some blame in the situation, which Scripture is clear was not the case, such a response would not have constituted a just reaction.
Now remember that God led Moses to record these stories while the Israelites were wandering in the wilderness, searching for a better understanding of their proper relationship to him. Among the earliest truths that the Lord wanted his people to know was that they could trust his discipline to be as harsh as was necessary, but also as gentle as possible. He could have easily and justifiably started over with the human race after that first sin but chose instead to make a path forward, and he would do the same for them.
A second truth was made equally clear, though: they could not and should not trust one another to address sin with the same restraint.
You see, the primary difference between God’s anger and our anger is that God’s is tempered by his holiness and love. As such, his discipline is measured out according to a just understanding of our sins. He doesn’t punish us for the sins of others but only in accordance with what our actions deserve.
However, when our anger leads us to action, the result is often far more akin to a volcano that has been building toward eruption over a long period of time. Whatever or whomever finally sets us off is likely to receive far more than their fair share of our wrath.
As Dallas Willard remarked, “The explosion of anger never simply comes from the incident. Most people carry a supply of anger around with them.”
Acting in anger will always lead us to sin because our response can never be as just or holy as the Lord’s. We will inevitably allow at least some small portion of the anger caused by the person who cut us off in traffic or the coworker who chewed a bit too loudly at lunch to filter into our response to someone else.
And considering that most of us are good enough at controlling our tempers during the day to prevent that unfortunate individual from being a coworker, stranger, or associate, more often than not it means that we will respond most sinfully to those closest to us.
If you doubt the validity of that statement, think back on the last time you got into a fight with your spouse, child, or a good friend. How had your day been prior to that moment? How about theirs?
Chances are that at least one of you was already a bit stressed out and carrying around a decent supply of anger before that fateful argument began. When that happens, you (or perhaps both of you) acted in sin because your response was fueled not just by the perceived slights of the other individual but by all of those who had come before them as well.
That is why when we respond in anger, we cannot help but sin.
Fortunately, that’s not how it works with God.
So, what steps can we take to help our responses better mirror his? After all, anger is unavoidable and God doesn’t command us to never feel that emotion, so figuring out a better way to manage it is crucial to living the kind of life to which we’re called.
To help us find the answer, let’s go back to the Sermon on the Mount.
A new perspective
Toward the end of Matthew 5, Jesus instructed his followers to “love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew 5:44). He said this knowing full well that doing so would require a conscious and continual effort on our part.
What would it look like, though, if our first response when people wrong us was to pray that God would help them find forgiveness and salvation in the Lord? What if we prayed for the chance to spend eternity with them in heaven?
If it’s other Christians who have wronged us (which will absolutely happen), what if our prayer was centered on asking God to help them see the error in their ways and be restored to a right relationship with him?
And before you get too far down that path, understand that these prayers need to come from a place of genuine concern for their spiritual well-being rather than something more akin to “Lord help them to understand how awful they’ve been (and if you want to smite them just a bit in the process that would be alright too).”
In short, imagine the difference it would make in our struggle with anger if our first and most lasting thoughts when people wrong us are asking God to bless them.
Biblically, we know that the ultimate blessings can’t take place apart from genuine repentance on their part, so we’re not requesting that they be let off the hook or for the Lord to overlook their wrongdoings. Rather, we’re simply asking the Lord to help them. In doing so, we’re taking the necessary first steps to seeing people as God does and that, in turn, can help us respond from a place of love rather than anger.
And conditioning ourselves to address anger with prayer is even more important when we consider that the primary sin Jesus warns us about on this issue is allowing it to fester. Addressing it—or at least acknowledging it—quickly is an important step to resolving it in a way that honors the Lord.
The apostle Paul spoke to that issue in his letter to the Ephesians, and that’s where we’ll end our discussion for today.
“Be angry and do not sin”
One of Paul’s better-known pieces of counsel was to “not let the sun go down on your anger” (Ephesians 4:26).
That phrase is frequently quoted, and for good reason, but its larger context is often overlooked. In verse 25, Paul begins by saying, “Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil” (Ephesians 4:25–27, emphasis added).
Essentially, Paul recognizes that when you deal with people, they will make you angry. That’s simply a fact of life in this fallen world. The temptation is to either act as though you aren’t angry, thereby storing your rage for a later date, or to lash out and sin. Scripture is clear, however, that neither option honors God. Moreover, our relationships suffer greatly when issues either remain beneath the surface or are dealt with in a manner that only feeds the flames of resentment.
The apostle gives his solution a few verses later when he writes, “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:31–32).
God’s answer to our anger is to deal with it, but from a place of forgiveness rather than retribution and with peace as a higher priority than punishment. Granted, that’s often easier said than done, but the Lord knew how hard it would be to resolve our frustrations in this manner before he called us to do it.
So as we conclude, remember that while it is not a sin to be angry, it is a sin to dwell on that anger or empty it on whomever or whatever pushed you over the edge. And, as fallen, sinful creatures, we will never be able to manage that anger on our own. Fortunately, God stands ready to help. When we respond to anger with prayer and commit to working through whatever sparked the emotion in us—ideally with the other person but, at the very least, with God—then we can do as Christ commands and love others, even when they may feel like an enemy.