Rob Reiner’s son arrested in connection with parents’ deaths

Iconic actor and director Rob Reiner first came to fame for his role as Archie Bunker’s liberal son-in-law “Meathead” in All In the Family. Beginning in the 1980s, he established himself as a director of numerous successful Hollywood films, including This Is Spinal Tap, The Princess Bride, When Harry Met Sally, A Few Good Men, and The American President.

This morning, news began breaking that he and his wife, Michele, had been found dead in their Los Angeles home. The couple was found stabbed to death Sunday in an apparent homicide, according to police.

Now we are learning that their son, Nick Reiner, was arrested Sunday night in connection with the deaths of his parents. He is being held in a jail in Los Angeles County on $4 million bail. At this writing, no information about criminal charges has been made available. However, People magazine is reporting that the Reiners were killed by their son, though police have not confirmed this account.

Nick Reiner, age thirty-two, has spoken openly over the years about his struggles with drug abuse and bouts of homelessness. He and his father worked together on a movie, Being Charlie, which was loosely inspired by his early life. Rob Reiner directed, while his son wrote the screenplay alongside a person he met in rehab.

Why I disagreed with Rob Reiner

My wife and I happened to watch When Harry Met Sally again the other night. Afterwards, we discussed how effectively the movie normalizes sex outside of marriage.

The two characters, played so winsomely by Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan, sleep with any number of people while never marrying any of them (except each other at the end of the movie, of course). Rob Reiner’s film is so humorous and likable that you find yourself glad for the couple when they find happiness in their unbiblical relationship.

I disagreed with Mr. Reiner on numerous cultural and moral issues. He was a well-known advocate for same-sex marriage, for example, among other liberal causes. And many of his movies portrayed sexual immorality in ways that normalized and popularized it.

In addition, he made clear that he didn’t “believe in organized religion,” though he appreciated “a lot of the concepts of Buddhism.” He explained:

I’m not practicing anything, but those things make sense because it’s all about how you find spirituality inside you and how you treat others. It’s all about finding meaning. That’s what life is all about.

At the same time, I am of course horrified by the news of his death and that of his wife. If their son does turn out to be involved in their murder, this will be an even more tragic story.

And I’ve been thinking about my reaction to the news of his death. Upon reflection, I believe there is a factor here that transcends Mr. Reiner and the news of the day, whatever it is.

“Jesus shows his love for us”

Jesus loved the “rich young ruler,” even knowing that the man would reject his invitation to discipleship (Mark 10:17–22). He grieved for Jerusalem, even though (and because) it would reject him as the Messiah (Luke 19:41–44). He loved his disciples “to the end” (John 13:1), even though they would abandon him in the Garden of Gethsemane and (except for John) forsake him at the cross. He loved those who crucified him as he prayed for their forgiveness (Luke 23:34).

Jesus described John and his brother James as “Sons of Thunder” (Mark 3:17), perhaps presaging the time the two were angered by the Samaritan rejection of Jesus and asked, “Do you want us to tell fire to come down from heaven and consume them?” (Luke 9:54). On the way to Jerusalem, the brothers’ mother asked Jesus to seat them in places of honor in his kingdom (Matthew 20:20–23). And yet John was his “beloved” disciple (John 21:20).

The Bible teaches, “God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). Jesus’ love for us is so unconditional and absolute that nothing can “separate us” from it (Romans 8:35). The more we reject him, the more we need him. The sicker the patient, the more urgent and necessary the physician.

Here’s my point: Jesus’ followers can experience and manifest this same unconditional love for those who do not agree with our biblical faith. In fact, we should. And we must.

“Christ in you, the hope of glory”

It is not unusual in religious history for gods to appear as human. It was standard in Roman mythology, for example, for various deities to take on human form to interact with us. It was also typical for humans to be deified after their death, as with ancient Egyptian beliefs regarding the pharaohs. 

But here is what Christianity surprisingly claims: our God can live in us. Just as Jesus came to live in Mary prior to Christmas, so his Spirit comes to live in every person who makes Christ their Lord (1 Corinthians 3:16). Paul testified, “God chose to make known how great among the Gentiles are the riches of the glory of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory” (Colossians 1:27, my emphasis).

Now add this amazing fact: Not only does Jesus live in Christians, but he also works to make Christians more like Christ. His Spirit manifests his character, including his “love” for all people (Galatians 5:22). Thus, we see Peter and John ministering to a crippled beggar (Acts 3), Philip caring about the hated Samaritans (Acts 8:4–8), and Paul, the former Pharisee, devoting his life to reaching Gentiles (cf. Acts 9:15).

Jesus’ compassion changed the world. Through us, it still can.

“See how they love one another”

One of the best ways we can measure the degree to which we are following Jesus and are submitted to his Spirit is by measuring the degree to which we love people who do not love us. How we treat those we don’t have to treat well is a basic measure of character. But how we love those who reject our love and our Lord is a measure of Christlikeness.

Jesus was clear on this: “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven” (Matthew 5:44–45). The more we love those who do not love us, the more we display the family traits of our Father.

And the more we draw others to him.

The early apologist Tertullian (AD 160–240) said of his fellow believers:

We don’t take the gifts and spend them on feasts, drinking-bouts, or fancy restaurants. Instead we use them to support and bury poor people, to supply the needs of boys and girls who have no means and no parents. We support the elderly confined now to their homes. We also help those who have suffered shipwreck. And if there happen to be any in the mines, or banished to the islands, or shut up in the prisons—for nothing but their fidelity to the cause of God’s Church—they then become the nurselings of the confession we hold [as we take them in to help them].

Primarily it is the acts of love that are so noble that lead many to put a brand upon us. “See,” they say, “how they love one another” (Apology, chapter 39).

Who will say the same of you today?