“Bite Club”: The fraternity you don’t want but need

You are 3,500 times more likely to be bitten by a human than by a shark. You are more likely to be killed by lightning strikes or bee stings, as unlikely as they are. But if you are bitten by a shark and survive, there’s solace in the fact that you can join one of the most exclusive clubs in the world.

The New York Times tells us about “Bite Club,” a network founded by shark bite survivor Dave Pearson. It started in Australia but now has more than five hundred members across the world. It includes shark attack survivors, family members, first responders, and a few people who’ve been bitten by other animals, like crocodiles.

According to the Times, its private Facebook page “functions as a medical forum, a middle-of-the-night lifeline, a post-traumatic stress disorder support group, and an accidental family.”

Reading the article, this insight stood out for me: because shark attacks are so rare, very few people know what you’re going through if you become a victim of one.

According to Mr. Pearson, the club has given him profound connections with hundreds of people around the world. “You get to make a difference,” he said. “We share this thing.”

A woman who stopped me on my walk today

I’m going to assume that you have never been bitten by a shark and never will be. But I’m also going to assume that you have experienced pain that feels uniquely yours. Even if others have undergone a similar trauma, tragedy, illness, or injury, their experience is not and cannot be identical to yours.

In a seminary counseling class many years ago, I learned never to say “I know how you feel.” The reason is simple: no human can know how another human feels.

This is why proximity to fellow sufferers is so important: it gets us closer to community than we can feel in any other way. When my father died, friends who had lost their parents could help in ways others could not. When our son and grandson were diagnosed with cancer, parents and grandparents who had been through this were able to encourage us in ways others could not.

Just today, I was stopped on my morning walk by a woman who asked about the back brace I have to wear these days due to my degenerative spinal condition. I thought she was merely curious until she explained that she is dealing with a degenerative back condition as well. We instantly formed a bond we did not have moments earlier, and could help each other in ways others could not.

But even proximity to fellow sufferers is not what our hearts long for most. We want to be seen, known, and understood on a level no human can offer.

This is one reason the Christian faith makes such a unique difference in the world.

Why you should “cast all your anxiety on him”

No religious leader in human history can claim to be able to inhabit your body and life. Even if they were alive today, Muhammad, Buddha, or Confucius could not and would not make such an assertion.

But the Son of God was able in the Incarnation to reduce his omnipotence down into the finitude of a fetus and be born as a baby. Now, by the power of his Spirit, he is able to do the same in your life. If Jesus is your Lord, your body is the “temple” of his Spirit (1 Corinthians 3:16).

In addition, Jesus is praying for you right now (Romans 8:34) with complete omniscience regarding your feelings, thoughts, and actions. Add the fact that you are in his hand (John 10:28), and nothing can come to you without passing through him.

Taken together, these biblical facts mean that Jesus knows our pain as no one else can. He understands our feelings and thoughts on a level transcending human capacity. He actually knows us better than we know ourselves, since he has a perfect memory of every moment of our lives to this point and perfect knowledge of every moment in our future.

Accordingly, when your Father invites you to “cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7 NIV), this is a promise you know he can keep.

“Carried along by the Holy Spirit”

There’s a second facet to our conversation. Not only does the Lord understand our suffering in ways no other person can, but he can also give us insight into the suffering of others that equips us to share his compassion with them.

We clearly can never have his omniscience, omnipresence, or omnibenevolence. But we can be his hands and feet, his voice and presence in their lives. When we pray for insight into what we should say and do (or not say and do), the same Spirit who knows us so intimately can lead us as his instruments of grace.

This is why it’s so important to begin every day by submitting our lives to the Spirit (Ephesians 5:18). 

He was working yesterday to prepare people for your presence in their lives today. He was preparing you yesterday to be his presence today as well. When you yield to his will and guidance, he guides you to those people and places where he can use you most redemptively.

You’ll hear yourself say things you didn’t plan to say and do things you didn’t plan to do. It is a great privilege to be “carried along by the Holy Spirit” as he uses us for God’s glory and the good of our hurting world (cf. 2 Peter 1:21).

“The deeper the grief, the closer the God”

So, can I ask you to name your pain today? Define it specifically, then give it intentionally to Jesus, asking him to redeem it in his perfect will and to give you all you need to experience his abundant life (John 10:10).

Then ask him to make you a “wounded healer” by using your pain to help others trust him with theirs. Follow his prompting as he then guides you into conversations and relationships where he will answer your prayer. And know that he is using you for eternal significance even in the midst of temporal suffering.

Fyodor Dostoyevsky observed,

“The darker the night, the brighter the stars. The deeper the grief, the closer the God.”

Why is this promise good news for you today?