How to help kids process disturbing news in a digital age

Note: This article first appeared on Christian Parenting, another brand under the Denison Ministries umbrella. For more insights and resources into how to talk with kids about difficult issues, or simply how to raise children who love and serve the Lord, visit ChristianParenting.org.

If you haven’t talked to your teenagers yet about the Epstein files, now might be the time. Earlier this week, I was working from home when my family group chat—the one between my husband, two teenagers, and me—began to blow up with disturbing details of a document that’s been driving much of the news cycle lately. Perhaps you’ve heard of it: the Epstein files.

Though I was aware that the details of the files were gradually emerging through a series of court-ordered disclosures, it hadn’t crossed my mind to discuss with my children whether or not they should be reading them. I realized, too late, that I was responding retroactively instead of proactively.

Upon learning that one of my kids and his high school friends had read parts of the file—and were discussing, with alarm, the heinous acts depicted in it—I gently asked him to stop reading until we could talk as a family.

The fine line between sheltering and empowering 

If you have children or work with them, you know this to be true: kids talk. They are whole people with developing minds and thoughtful hearts. They also have unprecedented access to information. 

Seeking information is good. Too much information, however, can be overwhelming.

Hear my heart—the point is not to shelter our kids from the world.

When I speak to moms’ groups about how the gospel meets us in the challenges of digital parenting, I encourage weary parents not to shield their kids from reality. Instead, we are called to shelter them in our love and in Christ’s.

Our kids are likely processing what these dark and heartbreaking times mean. How do we keep their spiritual formation in mind as we help them navigate the increasing darkness of the day’s news? How do we raise kids who fight for justice, speak up for truth, and make a positive difference in our world?

Bhreagh Rowe from @the.rowehouse says, “We are not raising sheltered kids. We are raising sent kids. And that means we have to learn—sometimes late, sometimes clumsily—how to disciple on the frontlines.”

So, even though I didn’t get ahead of this particular issue with my oldest child, I still had a choice. Sometimes the most meaningful discipleship opportunities arrive unexpectedly.

So, how do we encourage our children to stay informed without letting curiosity get the best of them?

Four considerations for helping our kids process disturbing news in a world that needs them to be a light:

Acknowledge what’s at stake.

The Epstein Files are an extreme example of just how dark our world can be. The Bible told us it would be this way. “Our struggle is not against flesh and blood,” Paul writes, “but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world” (Ephesians 6:12).

News consumption is not neutral. As kids process disturbing stories, they form beliefs about God’s character, justice, and their place in the world. They begin to wrestle with the realities of this dark world. Teaching children to place limits on what they consume is wise, not naïve.

So let’s help our kids ask an important question: How is what I’m reading impacting my soul? We teach them to refuse to be pulled into the gravest of details because the dark is indeed very dark. The goal is to know enough to champion truth and justice, without giving the devil a foothold in our minds.

How much is too much?

We may wish we could keep our kids from learning about the greater evils in our world. But God didn’t keep quiet about the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil; He told Adam and Eve about it straight up. He then told them it wasn’t good for them to eat from this particular tree in the garden and warned them to stay away from it.

We do our kids a disservice if we try to hide them from the world or prevent them from learning about it. Fighting for justice started with acknowledging the truth. We can’t act on our faith if we avoid or ignore what’s going on in the world around us. Instead, we bravely face the truth and refuse to live in denial or ignorance.

That said, we must prepare our kids to champion truth responsibly by engaging them in conversation—knowing why we’re reading matters as much as what we’re reading.

As humans, we have a propensity toward negativity. It’s a survival mechanism. Our amygdala is hardwired to detect potential threats, which helps us avoid danger. Our hormones reinforce our pull toward attention-grabbing sound bites by rewarding our brains with a quick spike in dopamine and cortisol.

Reading news we know is not good for us draws on the same phenomenon that makes us slow down and gawk when we pass a wreck on the side of the road—we feel compelled to look.

But God didn’t design us to know everything or to carry it all. As humans, we can only take in so much information. Curiosity wants us to read the whole thing, but is it good for us?

Seek truth–not spectacle.

By choosing to skip the graphic detail, our children preserve their innocence and keep their souls from corruption. Teaching our kids to avoid spectacle-driven consumption reminds me of the old Sunday school song, “Oh be careful little eyes.”

With this goal in mind, I redirected my child toward a healthier alternative: Rather than reading the files themselves, we could find a reputable news source to sift through the gunk and summarize the key points for us. Proverbs 4:23 reminds us, “Above all else, guard your hearts, for it is the wellspring of life.” 

Teach your kids to ask questions before they read: Will learning about this topic help me show up better for a hurting world and make a difference in it? Am I consuming this material so that I can be informed enough to speak up for the truth and make an impact? Or, because the shock factor got the best of me?

Shape the heart through lament and action.

At the end of the day, it’s what we choose to do with the truth that matters. We live in a rapid-fire culture of information overload. To avoid feeling any of the pain or suffering we read about, we can just keep on scrolling.

But I believe the heart of God cares deeply about what’s happening in our world and to his people. If we are to reflect his image, we must take time to slow down and lament the atrocities that cause grave injustices to countless victims.

We must ask our loving God to forgive our collective human condition, which is plagued by sin, and to heal our land.

We must take action where it’s in our power to do so and listen. How is God specifically leading me?

Now that we know the truth, we seek to partner with God to fight for what’s good, right, and true. We raise our voices for justice and bring the light of Christ to shine into the darkness.

Why the gospel must remain the loudest news

When the news seems nothing but bad, Paul’s focus in the opener of his letter to the Romans ought to be our focus. His devotion to preaching the good news stands in radical contrast to our human tendency to linger on the worst our world has to offer. Throughout Romans 1, Paul repeatedly emphasizes, with steadfast conviction, his ultimate task of preaching the good news and giving God the glory. 

After all, our daily newsreel is the backdrop against which our need for the gospel becomes all the more apparent. Truly, the light shines in the darkness.