It will come as no surprise that this millennial generation has unprecedented access to images of graphic sexuality. Barely a generation ago, these images were limited to magazines on hidden shelves at convenience stores. But as “digital natives,” they now have unlimited porn available at any time, privately accessible, and free.
According to Dr. Ogas, co-author of A Billion Wicked Thoughts, of the one million most popular websites, 42,337 (nearly 5%) are sex-related. Additionally, Ogas’ study found nearly 15% of all Internet searches were for erotic content and the largest porn site on the web registers 4.4 billion page views per month.
So what effect is porn having on the lives of young millennial men? It no doubt has an effect on how he perceives women. It skews his expectation of physical beauty and performance. But it may be less how he sees women and more how he sees himself. Porn has less to do with sex, and more to do with escape. Porn may have less to do with pictures, and more to do with control.
When viewing porn, a young millennial man is subconsciously escaping from the pressures and disappointments of life into an environment that he thinks he can control. But the truth is there is no escape from life and the addiction is controlling him. It’s all an illusion. It’s a gateway. It’s dangerous. And what is most heart breaking is…he knows it.
Porn is like cotton candy. Porn creates an illusion of being filled with the intimacy that he seeks and yet is so fleeting. He loathes it. He knows it’s repugnant. He hates himself for it.
As a parent, have you seen evidence of porn in his life? Have you asked him about it? This is an incredibly emotional and taboo topic, but left unchecked it can destroy his life and marriage. It begins by being honest and getting the topic on the table.
Boundaries, filters and accountability are useful and crucial to the healing process but will not complete it. His only complete healing will come by:
- First, understanding the eternal cost of this horrific violation of God’s will. Looking at porn is not “harmless.” Spend some time reading through the website “Fight The New Drug” and understand exactly how harmful porn is.
- Second, find a professional Christian therapist through your church to walk him through the steps of recovery. A porn addiction is a powerful grip on his soul. He will need help through the Spirit to see healing. And,
- Third, revisit the joy and superior pleasure found only in discovering how much Christ loves him. He has to realize who he is in Christ and that he is not bound by the lies that Satan is telling him. He’s not inherently bad, ugly, repulsive, beyond help, or too messed up to be redeemed. He’s been bought for a price, precious, unique, desired, and forgiven. Help him discover that. Pray for that.
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